Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Randomize
