Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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