we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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