Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
