9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize