in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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