I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
