God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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