You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
