It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize