there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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