good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Randomize
