I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
