I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
