I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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