I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Randomize
