She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
