I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
