I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
