I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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