I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
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