I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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