what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
