I am spending my child support on dildos
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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