we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
