its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
His nipple licking is glorious
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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