I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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