Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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