I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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