her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
should my penis look like a turkey
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
There r osticjed everywhere
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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