Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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