Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
