You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize