Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
