You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Randomize
