guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
and she was petting her beer can
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
