I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
