Non-Jews are for practice
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
