you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
