Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
