can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Come see our sink grown plant.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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