i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
