I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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