Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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