So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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