I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I want you more than these girls want KFC
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
