I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
