i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
