You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
