Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
