they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Randomize
