Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
