no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
