you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
