and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Randomize
