He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
