I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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