im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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