I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
