think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
