Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
