New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
